The Road Less Travelled
It is my intention to keep this as my happy blog. Today has been kind of a crappy day & past getting my passport pic taken nothing was accomplished.
All day I was out of sorts and niccing worse then I have in quite some time. I was sure I was going to bed cranky.
Then my Toad showed why he is also my Melting Man. He listened to my rant about my Mom, and gave me good advice. Yes, I had a meltdown over my Mom trying to control my life STILL. There are times I feel like I am spinning on a wheel like a gerbil or hamster. Expending an enormous amount of energy and not moving an inch forward. My entire life my Mother has pushed me to be and do more. I have always been a failure at being what she wanted. I move on my own path, always have which has made for a lot of stress between us.
A life of being told you are a failure can eat at your soul. So, yes I need to hear that I am moving along steadily on my path. Toad said what I needed to hear: "I think you should look in your heart, and if you still want to apply for the job on Thursday, go for it. Don't let others influence your decision, its your choice and be happy you have the choice to decide. If you feel like you don't want to apply anymore, then don't, I support you either way
I am going to bed tonight still not thrilled with my day or mother, but there is this warm glow in my heart, because I do carve my own path...and now I might have a companion, someone who supports and doesn't always condemn and judge.
Comments
Parents! I realized this year how subconciously I was still trying to please my Dad...and that a lot of what I do is just to make him happy. FUnny thing is that once I realized this, and accepted it, I was able to pick and choose how to make him proud of me....rather than just acting like a gerbil....
And I'll say, getting passport photos taken inand of itself, is a big accomplishment....do you have a trip planned?
Good luck with the Job app. if you want it.
I have no actual trip planned. I never used my last passport. However, with the tightening of restrictions I need it to go to Canada which is possible. My bf is originally from Canada. I know that was what my Mom was thinking. She doesn't approve, he is younger then I am...a lot.
Thank you for your continued support Katiebell/TJ!